After Years, F.B.I. Recovers Remains of American Woman in Afghanistan

Reporting from Washington

The New York Times

The recovery of Cydney Mizell, an aid worker abducted in 2008, demonstrates the intricacies of tracking down hostages, particularly in a country where the United States no longer has a presence.
An American woman, Cydney Mizell, smiling and wearing a blue scarf.

The disappearance of Cydney Mizell was one of the oldest terrorism kidnapping cases that the F.B.I. had worked on in Afghanistan.Credit…via Jan Mizell

Cydney Mizell, an aid worker teaching English in southern Afghanistan, vanished in 2008, abducted after being driven off the side of a road and presumed dead for 15 years.

Members of her family, left with few other details of the circumstances surrounding her disappearance, wondered whether they would ever learn her fate.

Jan Mizell, her younger sister, said she would tell people: “Somebody over there knows what happened to my sister. They’re just not talking.”

But about a year ago, Ms. Mizell, 64, who lives south of Seattle, received news from the F.B.I.: Agents had collected small bone fragments belonging to Cydney in Afghanistan and would try to bring back all of her remains

The recovery of Cydney Mizell brings to an end a terrorism case that had long stymied investigators, becoming one of the oldest kidnappings that the F.B.I. has worked on in Afghanistan. It also demonstrates the intricacies of tracking down hostages, particularly in a country where the United States no longer has a presence and underscores the difficulty of finding the bodies of those lost abroad.

The F.B.I. did not make the discovery public at the time but confirmed in a statement on Saturday that Ms. Mizell’s remains were “recovered and repatriated to her family.” The effort included F.B.I. agents in the District of Columbia, as well as officials across the intelligence community who are part of the Hostage Recovery Fusion Cell, which focuses on hostage cases.

So far, no one has been charged in Ms. Mizell’s kidnapping and killing. But a former U.S. official familiar with the case said the Taliban were most likely behind the abduction and had hoped to trade her for one of their members held at the U.S. military prison at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba.

In Afghanistan, Ms. Mizell worked for the Asian Rural Life Development Foundation, teaching English at Kandahar University as well as embroidery and sewing at a girls’ school, according to a 2008 statement. She loved music, including singing and playing the piano and the guitar.

Jan Mizell said her father learned of his daughter’s disappearance in late January 2008. A shopkeeper, she recalled, had witnessed the kidnapping, relaying how Cydney and her driver had been forced off the road and taken hostage by a group of gunmen.

The kidnappers, using Ms. Mizell’s cellphone, repeatedly called the aid agency over several days. Only shortly after did the kidnappers indicate that Cydney had been killed, Jan Mizell said, though they offered few other details.

Ms. Mizell’s father died in the months after his daughter was kidnapped.

Over the years, Jan Mizell intermittently heard from the F.B.I. about the case. She received a letter from the Obama administration alerting her to changes it had made in hostage recovery efforts after families complained of haphazard communication and conflicting information from the administration. Under President Biden, the administration invited her to two video conference calls with Jake Sullivan, the national security adviser, and Secretary of State Antony J. Blinken. Ms. Mizell said the calls were for victims of terrorism and their families to ask questions about how the government handles these types of investigations.

Ms. Mizell said the F.B.I. received various tips, though nothing panned out. After receiving information about the possible whereabouts of her sister’s remains, the F.B.I. made a major push to solve the case. In 2021, the government posted a reward of up to $5 million for information about Cydney Mizell, including her “location, recovery and return,” and publicized the notice in several languages.

“I was shocked and in awe that this effort was being made,” Ms. Mizell said of the bid to find her sister.

Ms. Mizell said the reward appeared to lead to a breakthrough, with somebody stepping forward with the bone fragments. DNA taken by F.B.I. agents in 2008 from Ms. Mizell and her father confirmed it was Cydney.

Then the government took steps to locate and bring home her entire skeletal remains, including by having the bones brought through a third country. Ms. Mizell said two F.B.I. agents in April 2023 escorted the remains back to the United States draped in an American flag.

A copy of the autopsy report the F.B.I. gave her showed that her sister had been shot in the head and her skull crushed. Agents also presented her with an urn of ashes and an American flag. The agents also returned the personal journals Cydney kept during her time in Afghanistan.

“Without the agents, we would still be in some big black hole of nothingness,” Ms. Mizell said.

In October, Ms. Mizell’s family held a memorial at a Baptist church in Tacoma, Wash., where her father was once the pastor. Dozens attended the service, including F.B.I. agents. The American flag Ms. Mizell had received was on display.

Her family is expecting to finally receive an official death certificate.

Ms. Mizell said her sister, who would have turned 66 next month, sought to improve the lives of those around her.

“She was devoted to loving and helping people around the world, especially supporting women and girls in desperate situations,” she added.

Other kidnapping cases have continued to frustrate the F.B.I. In Afghanistan, investigators are still trying to track down Paul Edwin Overby Jr., an author who officials say was last seen in May 2014 in Khost city while researching a book. He had hoped to interview the leader of a militant network when he went missing. And Ryan Corbett, of Western New York, was detained by the Taliban in 2022 after visiting northern Afghanistan on a business trip.

Kitty Bennett contributed research.

Adam Goldman writes about the F.B.I. and national security. He has been a journalist for more than two decades

After Years, F.B.I. Recovers Remains of American Woman in Afghanistan
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Afghan nationals top the list of asylum seekers in France in 2023

Khaama Press

The Office for the Protection of Refugees and Stateless Persons in France (OFPRA) has announced that Afghans, with 17,500 requests, were the largest group of asylum seekers in the country in 2023.

This agency stated that in total, 142,500 people requested asylum in France last year.

OFPRA released the first asylum data for the previous calendar year on Tuesday, January 23rd.

According to this agency, Afghans have been the top asylum seekers for the sixth consecutive year.

The office noted that citizens from Bangladesh, Turkey, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Equatorial Guinea submitted the most asylum requests to France in 2023.

According to these statistics, the asylum demand in France increased by 8.6% compared to 2022.

The agency also mentioned that the COVID-19 crisis significantly affected refugee population movements.

Reportedly, during 2023, this office issued 136,700 decisions regarding asylum cases. The Office for the Protection of Refugees and Stateless Persons in France mentioned that the provided statistics are provisional, and final figures will be released after further review.

Recently, the Federal Office for Migration and Refugees in Germany also announced that over 50,000 Afghans applied for asylum in the country in 2023.

Since the Taliban’s takeover in Afghanistan, many Afghan citizens are fleeing to neighboring countries in their quest to reach Europe for a safer future. They are escaping persecution, security threats, reprisals, and extrajudicial killings, especially those who were part of the former Afghan security forces.

Afghan nationals top the list of asylum seekers in France in 2023
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US expresses major concern over the Taliban’s treatment of Afghan women

The US State Department deputy spokesperson, Vedant Patel, expressed deep concern on Monday regarding the Taliban regime’s treatment of women in Afghanistan.

Patel emphasized that the Taliban’s actions, particularly regarding women’s rights and basic human rights, are unacceptable to the United States.

The US has taken measures to prevent the current regime of the Taliban from accessing humanitarian aid, Patel stated.

Recently, concerns have been raised about the Taliban’s control over humanitarian aid, with fears that it may be diverted for their purposes rather than reaching those in need.

Meanwhile, UNAMA released a report on Monday, revealing that the Taliban had arrested a significant number of women and girls, mainly from the Hazara region of Dasht-e-Barchi and some in Khair Khana, for not observing the hijab as per Sharia law.

The Taliban reacted strongly to the UNAMA report, claiming it insulted the nation’s beliefs.

Since the Taliban took control of Afghanistan, they have imposed strict measures, particularly confining women to their homes and erasing their presence from the public sphere.

Patel informed reporters that the United States has implemented various measures to ensure that US humanitarian aid and taxpayer money do not end up in the hands of the Taliban.

The United Nations has confirmed that the money donated to the organization by the world is in its accounts, and the Taliban does not have access to it.

US expresses major concern over the Taliban’s treatment of Afghan women
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Deputy PM Says Corruption, Drug Activity Stopped in Afghanistan

The Arg in a statement said that in this meeting Mawlawi Abdul Kabir requested the European Union’s help in the health and education sectors of Afghanistan.

The deputy Prime Minister for Political Affairs, Mawlawi Abdul Kabir, said that corruption and narcotics has ended in Afghanistan.

In a meeting with the Chargée d’Affaires a.i. -Delegation of the European Union to Afghanistan, Raffaella Iodice, Mawlawi Kabir said that “Daesh has been suppressed in Afghanistan and the borders are also under control.”

The Arg in a statement said that in this meeting Mawlawi Abdul Kabir requested the European Union’s help in the health, education and infrastructure sectors of Afghanistan during this meeting.

The Arg said that Iodice discussed the expansion of relations between Afghanistan and the EU and announced the continuation of the EU’s aid to Afghanistan. “In the meeting that took place with the EU chargé d’affaires, it was stated to them [EU] that the only way which benefits both sides are diplomatic contacts and also bilateral cooperation,” said Zabiullah Mujahid, the Islamic Emirate’s spokesman.

The analysts believe that the Islamic Emirate needs to fulfill its promises with the international community in a bid to pave the way for the development of Afghanistan.

“The Taliban’s cabinet should bring reforms in girls education, women’s work, codification of the constitution and inclusion of professional people. The Afghan nation suffers from isolation,” said Aziz Maarij, a political analyst.

“To attract the international community, the leaders of the Islamic Emirate need to sit together and reach an agreement, so that they can convince the international community and fulfill the legitimate wishes of the international community,” said Abdul Baseer Tarakai, an economist.

Meanwhile, Deputy Foreign Minister Sher Muhammad Abbas Stanikzai in a meeting with Misako Takahashi, the Deputy Special Representative of Japan for Afghanistan, discussed that Afghanistan is enriched with natural resources, raw material and mines.

“Compared to the past, there is a safest atmosphere created for investment in Afghanistan, and all countries including Japan need to invest in Afghanistan without waiting for official recognition,” Stanikzai was quoted as saying in a statement by deputy spokesman for the Foreign Ministry, Hafiz Zia Ahmad Takal.

“Mr Stanikzai thanked Japan assistance and added that Afghanistan with having mass natural resources and mines, is a safer now for investment than before,” Takal said.

Deputy PM Says Corruption, Drug Activity Stopped in Afghanistan
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Afghan Women Treated Based on Islamic Law: Deputy Minister

The detention of several women in various parts of Kabul earlier faced widespread reactions by the international community.

The deputy Minister of Vice and Virtue, Mohammad Faqir Mohammadi, said that whatever is enforced on women in Afghanistan is based on Islamic law.

In an interview with TOLOnews, Mohammadi referred to the detention of women and said that the women were arrested by the female forces of the Interior Ministry because they had not observed hijab.

He argued that the detainees were gathered in one place and provided with advice.

“Hijab is not an order from the Islamic Emirate nor from the Vice and Virtue Ministry, it is an order from almighty God. One hundred percent of the people of Afghanistan want to observe Hijab. No one denies that they don’t accept Hijab” he said.

Mohammadi said that the ministry launched various seminars for its employees to treat the people with good behavior.

“We have provided advice for them. We have instructed them to treat the people in a way that you earn the hearts of the people,” he said.

Mohammadi said that the international sanctions on the Islamic Emirate will not bring any result and that the world should avoid interfering in the internal affairs of Afghanistan.

“They should have good engagement with the Islamic Emirate and not interfere in the Islamic Emirate’s internal affairs. They cannot stop vice and virtue through these certain restrictions,” he said.

The detention of several women in various parts of Kabul earlier faced widespread reactions by the international community.

Afghan Women Treated Based on Islamic Law: Deputy Minister
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Pakistan Official Again Alleges Threats Coming From Afghan Soil

Speaking at a press conference on Sunday, Jan Achakzai also said that terrorists have networks in Afghanistan.

Balochistan’s caretaker minister for information, Jan Achakzai claimed that Afghan soil is a threat to Pakistani security forces. 

Speaking at a press conference on Sunday, Jan Achakzai also said that terrorists have networks in Afghanistan.

“No neighboring country is threatened by Pakistani soil, and conversely, the security forces of Balochistan have been threatened from Afghan soil where their centers exist. Likewise, Pakistan has destroyed its centers in neighboring Iran, which shows that the stability of Balochistan and Pakistan is threatened beyond its borders,” he added

However, the Islamic Emirate rejected the claims of this Pakistani official and said that there is no threat from Afghanistan’s soil to any country and says such claims are baseless.

“According to its policy, the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan does not allow Afghanistan’s soil to be used against any country, including Pakistan, so the accusations that have been or were made in this regard are not true, and we consider them against the policy and legal position of the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan,” said Zabihullah Mujahid, the spokesman for the Islamic Emirate.

Some political analysts said that Pakistan is trying to mislead its people by accusing Afghanistan and Iran of causing the country’s insecurity.

“Pakistani forces cannot provide the security of its people, and they have improved their relations with the TTP to meet their demands, which forces them to turn a blind eye to their people,” said Kamarn Aman, a political analyst.

“The interim government of Pakistan is not only trying to disrupt relations between Afghanistan and Pakistan but also trying to disrupt peace and stability in the region and other countries like Iran,” said Najib Rahman Shamal, another political analyst.

This comes as Pakistan’s caretaker minister for information, broadcasting, and parliamentary affairs has said that the future of relations between Afghanistan and Pakistan depends on the behavior and actions of Kabul.

Pakistan Official Again Alleges Threats Coming From Afghan Soil
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4 Countries to Soon Hold Meeting on Afghanistan: Kabulov

This is not the first meeting on Afghanistan either on a regional or global level but analysts have different views on the outcomes of such meetings.

Russia said that a quadrilateral meeting will take place by the end of January this year to discuss Afghanistan.

The Russian president’s special envoy for Afghanistan, Zamir Kabulov, in an interview with Tass News Agency said that Russia, China, Pakistan, and Iran are preparing for the meeting.

According to Kabulov, interaction with Afghanistan’s current government to establish an inclusive government, and address counterterrorism and counter narcotics in the country will be discussed in the meeting.

“Interaction with the current Afghan authorities in the interests of creating an inclusive government, the fight against terrorism and drug crime will be discussed in the meeting,” Tass quoted Zamir Kabulov as saying.

The Islamic Emirate said that they have not been informed about the meeting, but they insist on friendly relations with Russia, China, Pakistan and Iran.

“These are key countries in the region and we have good relations with them. We have bilateral embassies in the countries which means the bilateral relations are normal with these countries, we have trade and transit together, but we still try to make the relationships much better,” Zabiullah Mujahid, the spokesperson for the Islamic Emirate, told TOLOnews.

This is not the first meeting on Afghanistan either on a regional or global level, but analysts have different views on the outcomes of such meetings.

“In the upcoming meeting on Afghanistan, the countries will discuss their respective interests and engagement with Afghanistan,” said Najiburahman Shamal, a political analyst.

“Such meetings will not be fruitful until there are representatives of the people of Afghanistan in them. Because the participating countries will be discussing their own interests in the meeting,” said Salim Paigeer, another political analyst.

The specific date and venue of the meeting has not been specified yet.

It is not clear whether the Islamic Emirate will participate in the meeting, but it has always said that a caretaker government’s representative should be present in all meetings on Afghanistan.

4 Countries to Soon Hold Meeting on Afghanistan: Kabulov
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Over a Million Refugees Deported in 2023: MoRR

Mohammad Rasool, who was forcibly expelled from Pakistan, said that refugees deported from Pakistan should be provided with shelter.

The acting Minister of Refugees and Repatriation, Khalil Rahman Haqqani, in a meeting with the head of International security and supplies of UNHCR said that over a million refugees have been deported from neighboring countries, especially from Pakistan, in 2023. 

Khalil Rahman Haqqani also said that aid organizations should provide regular aid to refugees to ensure that no one remains homeless

“In the meeting, the acting Minister of Refugees and Repatriation asked UNHCR to keep the issue of Afghan refugees away from politics on the international stage and to continue its assistance in coordination with the ministry,” said Abdul Mutalib Haqqani, the spokesman of the MoRR.

Some Afghans who have recently been deported from Pakistan asked the Islamic Emirate to address their problems, saying all that they owned remained in Pakistan, they said.

Mohammad Rasool, who was forcibly expelled from Pakistan, said that refugees deported from Pakistan should be provided with shelter.

“The government must help us, they should dedicate land for us and also build shelters for us,” he added.

“They were very cruel. When police used to arrest you on the street, they used to expel you, while your family used to be at home,” said Hakeem Khan, deported from Pakistan.

Before this, officials in the Islamic Emirate said that nearly 800,000 Afghans have been deported from Pakistan and Iran.

Over a Million Refugees Deported in 2023: MoRR
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Trade resumes as Pakistan and Afghanistan reopen Torkham border crossing after 10 days

PESHAWAR, Pakistan — Trade between Pakistan and Afghanistan resumed Tuesday after the two sides reopened a key northwestern border crossing shut for more than 10 days.

Truckers for years have been able to cross the border without documents, so they generally do not have them. But Pakistan began mandating truck drivers get visas last week.

The two sides after a series of meetings agreed to reopen the Torkham border crossing but Pakistan set a new deadline of March 31 for the truck drivers to get visas, said Ziaul Haq Sarhadi, a director of the Pakistan-Afghanistan joint Chamber of Commerce and Industry.

Abdul Basir Zabali, the Taliban-appointed spokesman for the police chief in Nangarhar province, said the Torkham crossing was reopened after the two sides talked, but he didn’t give details.

The Torkham border crossing has been closed a number of times in recent months, mainly following clashes between the security forces for varied reasons including repairs of the border fence by Pakistan.

Trade resumes as Pakistan and Afghanistan reopen Torkham border crossing after 10 days
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The Daily Hustle: My life as a refugee – and choosing to return home 

Sayed Asadullah Sadat

Afghanistan Analysts Network

After the Islamic Republic collapsed in August 2021, tens of thousands of people rushed to Kabul airport, attempting to leave Afghanistan. Some faced specific threats from the new rulers. Others were fearful of an uncertain future, increased violence and unemployment and hoped for a better future for themselves and their children if they went abroad. Among those leaving were Afghans who worked for international NGOs and the former government who went as refugees to other countries, mostly in Europe and North America. Now, more than two years on, some are choosing to return home. AAN’s Sayed Asadullah Sadat has talked to one former NGO worker who has recently returned to Afghanistan with his family about their experience as refugees in Denmark and why, in the end, they decided to come back to Kabul.
Leaving everything you know behind and going into the unknown to start a new life in a country you’ve never been to isn’t easy. Migration has both negative and positive aspects, and everyone has their own story. This is my story.
The atmosphere in Kabul changed to one of fear and uncertainty immediately after the news broke that the president, Ashraf Ghani, had fled the country. As Taleban fighters started entering the city, panicked crowds started gathering outside the gates of Kabul airport, hoping to leave the country while it was still open. I was one of them. I used to work for an international NGO in Kabul and my organisation quickly arranged for staff members who wanted to leave to be taken to Europe. And so it was that, two days after the collapse, my wife and I went to Kabul airport with our five children. It was the first leg of a two-year journey that took us from Kabul to Pakistan, on to Denmark and finally back to Afghanistan.

It’s difficult to describe what it was like at the airport. We could see the growing crowd trying to force its way in. We said goodbye to my brother, who had driven us there, and braved the crowd to get to the gate. Everyone was trying to get in, but the US forces only allowed people with documents to enter. We were among the fortunate. The NGO I worked for had arranged for us to be on the list and we were allowed to go in.

The 24 hours we spent at the airport waiting to be evacuated were the most terrifying hours of my life – a nightmare I will never forget. I had never experienced this sort of chaos and pandemonium. Hundreds, maybe even thousands, were waiting and the atmosphere of fear, anxiety and anticipation was palpable. There was no one to help people and everyone had to take care of himself and his family. It was so crowded you couldn’t even find a place to sit. There were no working bathrooms and no food. We could hear gunshots outside the airport as NATO forces tried to disperse the crowd. There was a stampede on the runway as a crowd tried to force its way onto a plane; shots were fired and, in the confusion, several people were killed. My children were scared and crying. The girls wanted to go home. I was trying to comfort my kids when I saw the most extraordinary thing – two men falling from the sky. They had tried to get out by hiding in an aeroplane’s wheels, and when it took off, they fell to their deaths.

Finally, we were taken on a military plane to Pakistan. We were given food when we arrived. It was the first thing we had eaten since we left our house in Kabul nearly two days earlier. Luckily, my wife had had the sense to pack some biscuits for our children in her bag. We spent eight hours at the airport in Pakistan, where our documents were checked before we boarded the plane for our final destination, Denmark.

A new life in Denmark

The Copenhagen airport was a hub of activity. There was a reception centre for Afghan refugees where they checked our bags, took our biometrics and registered us. There were people who welcomed us and gave us food to eat. Then, we were taken to the first of two camps we would stay at before we could live in our own house.

The facilities in the first camp were pretty basic. They took our passports and other documents and sent us to our temporary accommodation. Each family was given a room and there was a bathroom and kitchen, which several families had to share. The food they served at the camp was unfamiliar to us. We weren’t even sure if it was halal, but we had to eat what was on offer.

My wife and daughters were exhausted from the journey. My youngest daughter started having stomach problems because of the food. We took her to the understaffed clinic at the camp. The only doctor was overburdened with the various ailments the people at the camp suffered from and, anyway, there was no medicine to treat my daughter.

We stayed in that camp for five days and then we were taken to another one. The second camp was much better. It had more facilities, and each family had separate living quarters. Our family of seven got two rooms, including a bathroom, but we had to share the kitchen with other families. Still, we could cook our own food and buy what we needed from a nearby market.

We lived in this camp for five months. It was fine for the adults, but the children chafed at the confines of the camp and were homesick for Afghanistan. They missed their old lives and wanted to play with their cousins and friends. There were classes for the older children and a kindergarten for the little ones, which kept them busy. Everyone, including the children, went to English and Danish classes because, if we were to make a successful go at our new lives, it was important to learn the language as quickly as possible.

Finally, we were issued two-year temporary visas and sent to the area where the government had decided we should live. We could now rent a place to live and find work. The Danish government had taken care of all our expenses while we were in the camp, but now we were given an allowance of 7,000 krone [1,000 USD] for me and my wife. There was no allowance for the children. I was able to find a house that was within our budget, but it was very old. It had a damp problem; there was mould on the walls and the plumbing didn’t work very well. Our allowance wasn’t enough to meet our expenses. We kept dipping into the nest egg we had brought from Afghanistan to make ends meet until that was gone and then I had to borrow money from friends. The pressure was on to find a job.

Finding work and making ends meet 

Finding a job is difficult when you are a new arrival and barely speak the language. Many employers ask for previous experience in Denmark. To overcome this hurdle, the municipality has a programme that places refugees in unpaid apprenticeships for six months. But even after that, employers are reluctant to hire immigrants, especially Muslims whom they view with some suspicion. In the end, no matter how educated you are and what kind of job you had back home, a refugee can only hope to find unskilled work, for example, as a cleaner or guard. When you learn the language, you can find work in care homes and, if you’re very lucky, as a waiter or a shop assistant.

I was finally able to find work stocking shelves in a supermarket. The pay was low and the taxes high (40 per cent). I was paid 15,000 krone (USD 2,200), but my take-home after taxes was only 9,000 krone (USD 1,300). My government allowance was discontinued after I found work, but my wife kept receiving her allowance of 3,500 krone (USD 500). In other words, we had USD 1,800 for a family of seven. The cost of living was backbreaking. In addition to food and rent, we had to pay for water, electricity, the internet and transport. There was also the cost of sending my younger kids to kindergarten. Schooling is free for all children in Denmark, but refugees have to pay a fee if they want to send their kids to kindergarten. Some friends told us that it didn’t used to be this way, but after so many Afghans started arriving with big families, the government changed the rules. There were also other expenses such as clothes for the children and other things – a candy bar here, an ice cream there, a birthday cake. It felt like even breathing came at a cost. We couldn’t make ends meet however much we tightened our belts.

Deciding to go back to Afghanistan

Starting a new life in Denmark was difficult for me and my family. We were unfamiliar with the environment, culture and customs. We already knew there would be a settling-in period, but we were unprepared for the realities of life as refugees in our new home. For one thing, unlike Afghanistan, where big family networks and even friends step in to help each other, there was no one to help us navigate the new environment. People are busy with their own lives and solving their own problems.

The two years we spent living in Denmark took their toll on my family. I started having anxiety attacks. My wife grew more depressed and withdrawn by the day. My two youngest children kept picking up colds in kindergarten and their health kept deteriorating. We finally decided to take them out of kindergarten and keep them at home. One of my sons stopped eating. He said he was being bullied at school and that none of the other pupils would play or even talk to him. I took him to the nearest clinic, which was in the city and a two-hour bus ride away from our house. But the doctor wouldn’t give him any medicine. She said it was stress-related and advised us to keep him at home for a few days and let him rest. Then my oldest son, who was also having a hard time at school, started having anxiety attacks and I could see my wife sinking deeper into depression with each passing day.

I felt defeated. Things could not go on this way. One evening, sitting at the kitchen table and trying to figure out how we could manage things, my wife and I talked about returning to Afghanistan. It was my wife’s idea. She said that life in Denmark was unsuitable for us and that she worried about our children and their state of mind. She was also worried about how we could raise our children in this unfamiliar environment and make sure they retained their Afghan identity and our social and cultural values. I could also see that she was deeply unhappy and missed having our family and friends around. We talked about it for several days, always at night after the children had gone to bed, going through our options, but we could see no other way. Finally, we had a family meeting. I could see my children light up at the mention of going back to Afghanistan.

And so, it was decided. I approached the Danish government and told them we wanted to go home.

Why did you come back?

Since we got back to Kabul, people, many of them incredulous, keep asking the same question: Why did you come back? I tell them that life abroad is not for everyone. There are economic problems and the language and cultural barriers make it difficult to find suitable employment and access government services like healthcare. I explain how expensive life is in Europe and how emasculating it is not to be able to provide for your family, no matter how hard you work. Mostly, I tell them that the isolation and the intense feeling of being an outsider squatting in someone else’s home are unbearable. Life in Europe is good, but not all Europeans are very welcoming to immigrants, especially if you’re a Muslim. I had never experienced racial discrimination and it was difficult for me to come to terms with it. It was not easy to watch my kids crying when they came home from school because no one would play with them and tell my older son to ignore the boys who were bullying him in school. Why should he ignore them? Why should he have this bitter experience at all?

I knew starting over for the second time in two years wouldn’t be easy, but at least we’d be home in our own country.

Back to zero after two years

The decision to return wasn’t one I took lightly. I was between the devil and the deep blue sea. On the one hand, we had economic and health problems and I could see my family slipping away. On the other, we faced an uncertain future in Afghanistan. I had sold my house and all of our belongings when we left. I had no job to go back to and most of my family and friends had left the country. There was also the stigma of returning to Afghanistan, with people viewing you as a failure – someone who didn’t have what it takes to make a go of things and create a better life for his family.

For now, we’re busy with starting our life from scratch. We’re staying with friends until we find a house to rent. I spend my days looking for work and catching up with the changes in Kabul. I’ve taken my son to hospital, where he was finally treated for the persistent infection he’d been suffering from. My wife was also treated by a doctor in Kabul and her depression is much better. As a family, I have to admit that we’re much happier even though things are still uncertain.

Kabul has changed a lot since the last time we lived here. For one thing, security is much better, but the economy is much worse than I remember. People are struggling to find jobs and put food on the table. The ban on older girls going to school is a big concern for me. I have three daughters; I think about my eldest daughter and her future. She would have started grade 7 this year.

I know that starting from zero is not going to be easy. We face an uncertain economic future and I still have to find a job to support my family and I figure out how I can get my daughters educated after they finish elementary school, but the mental pressures are gone. My wife and children are doing well and are joyful again. I’m living in my own country and it is a thousand times better than living abroad.

Edited by Roxanna Shapour

 

The Daily Hustle: My life as a refugee – and choosing to return home 
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